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The Scene

As the Tavleks are boarding. Johnny and Miss Sun are walking down a corridor.
 
 

What went wrong!

BEN: (Irritated) John Wayne. No, the big guy...True Grit, The Searchers, The Cowboys, Atilla the Hun. Oh no, look, forget about Atilla the Hun...everybody makes a bad movie. But the point is....

DIRECTOR: (Exasperated) Cut!

BEN: What?

DIRECTOR: Gengis Khan! Not Atilla the Hun.

CLAUDIA: Jesus! How many times are we gonna do this fucking scene? Can't we replace him with a puppet?

BEN: No way was John Wayne in Gengis Khan!

DIRECTOR: He was!

BEN: Fine! From the top?

DIRECTOR: Please.

BEN: John Wayne. No, the big guy...True Grit, The Searchers, The Cowboys, Atilla the Hun. Oh no, look-

DIRECTOR: Cut!

CLAUDIA: (Smacks BEN about the head) Moron!

BEN: Hey, I said Gengis Khan!

DIRECTOR: Shit.

KEMPER: Have we got any puppets we could use?

BEN: Hey, come on guys. Everyones entitled to a few mistakes!

DIRECTOR: This is the thirty-fourth take, Ben.

BEN: Yeah, well...

CLAUDIA: (Tapping BEN on the head) Hello! Anybody home? Earth to moron.

BEN: Hey, cut that out!

KEMPER: Puppets? Hello? Anybody listening to me?

BEN: (to KEMPER) Look, hey, I can do better.

KEMPER: Then do so, or... (Slides a finger across his throat)

BEN: (Gulping) Okay, no problem. Atilla the Hun, right?

 

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DISCLAIMER: (Don't sue us, we're pathetic) This is so made up. We mean absolutely no offence. We all love Farscape, and the actors and crew involved in making our favourite show. This should be seen for what it is, a tribute. If by some bizarre, and frankly disturbing coincidence Mr. Browder does indeed enjoy the company of voles, then we apologise unreservedly.

Farscape and all it's subsidiary bits are owned by some other people and not us. Anything illegal we do is purely by accident and that includes the credit card scam and Bob's marijuana farm.