Episode 4.10 - Provisional
title 'The Way of the Bum'
As a child,
Justin Monjo was fascinated by bottoms, and as Farscape's chief
writer, he has been allowed to fully explore this obsession in
an episode that will revolve around Johnny's bottom. No-ones
entirely sure what this episode means, and during filming, several
actors and crew expressed their dissatisfaction with the script.
Essentially, Johnny will come across an ancient alien ship, which
has on board, a special chair that allows the person who sits
in it to have a irresistable arse. We're not making this up,
I can assure you! Plenty of fun for the shippers here!
Season 4 - new characters
Exclusively,
Crackers Matter can reveal three new characters who will play
a major part in the 4th season:
Peaniss - Described as a maverick
Peacekeeper soldier, who was thrown out of the service after
a series of outrageous practical jokes backfired, leaving three
solar systems in little pieces, and killing over 16 billion Sebaceans.
He is expected to provide some light relief to counteract the
immense angst that will be season 4. In one of the early episodes,
for example, he will steal Rygel's thronesled, then break both
his legs and hurl him out an airlock. Haha! I'm giggling already!
Melandriandrasia - A female Babeon
(a new species, similar to humans, except with several vital
body parts enlarged), she is rescued by Moya when her space craft
crashes into a floating mine, left by Peaniss along a major space thoroughfare.
While aboard, her and Johnny immediately hit it off, creating
many hilarious 'Miss Sun is jealous' scenes. Pamela Anderson
will play the part.
Aaak Ak Mo
Ak Nibbles Qzz Ak Aaak Gar L'Lo Nqq Ak Pizza Terarararararararara
Ak Ak Mo QxQ Ju Ilik Aka Ak Ak A'a'a'ak'a (or Bo for short) - Remember the Boolite
from 'Fractures'? Well, this is his younger brother, who comes
seeking to avenge his brother's death. He blames Johnny, and
will stop at nothing to gain retribution. Will be the main baddie
for season 4, after Scorpius realises he has reached retirement
age, and settles down at the local PK rest home for the aged,
eating soft foods and grumbling about the kids of today.
Episode 4.22 - No title
as yet.
The season
finale will be written by Claudia Black after she threatened
to lightly fry Kemper's manhood. She is said to be hugely jealous
that Ben has been allowed to write episodes, while the producers
continually return her scripts, saying things like 'My Little
Pony crossovers are a little off genre for us' and 'Though an
episode in which Johnny dies a hundred painful deaths has merits,
we feel the costs involved would prohibit us overly.'
The Farscape Movie
The oft mentioned
movie is now a definite. Joe Esterhaus revealed to us that he
has been hired by the producers to draft a script for them, and
it is rumoured that John Travolta is keen to venture into sci-fi
again after his hugely successful Battlefield Earth was so warmly
recieved by the critics. Directors in the picture at the moment
include Ben Dover, Alan Smithee and Ang Lee. The story for the
movie is a closely kept secret, but Crackers Matter hopes to
reveal details in our next installment, as we should have the
pictures of Rockne and the chimpanzee developed by then.
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