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Archive One


Opening episode 4.1 - What happened to Mr. Ed (provisional title)

Following on from the plain confusing 'Dog with Two Bones', it appears as if the mystery will be resolved straight away. Apparently, it's all down to space-born cucumbers. The three-eyed hag is their 'mother', as she grows them on a space-allotment. The space-cucumbers have succesfully tamed wormhole theory and use it to travel the universe with their 'mother' in hope of finding a suitable cheese with which to combine themselves in a sandwich. The taking of Moya was an accident, due to cucumber 115, a particularly clumsy member of the species who has yet to fully grasp the concept of wormholes.

Aeryn is not pregnant. The translator microbes malfunctioned translating 'she is with child' when it was supposed to be, 'look out for cucumber 115'.

Episode 4.2 - Sex, Lies and Damned Lies (provisional title)

A stand alone episode, in which John and Aeryn are reunited, consummate their love and inadvertently temrinate the existence of several species. Time travelling fun ensues as John and Aeryn zip around in time, trying desparately to put right their wrongs, while simeltaneously trying to get it on as often as possible. Features cameo from David Hasselhoff as an alien troubabdor.

Episode 4.12(?) - No title

Rumour has it that Kemper is planning an episode containing no dialogue and all action will take place via the medium of mime. Intrigued?

Episode ? - No title

Our man on the inside has got hold of a draft script that Justin Monjo left in a Sydney brothel, in which Johnny and Aeryn are to be married by D'Argo, who becomes possessed by the spirit of Zhaan.


Fifth series

This is highly suspect, but according to the man who cleans the windows at Kemper's mansion, season 5 will be entirely animated. Kemper, always keen to save a few bob here and there, wants to do away with actors altogether.

Sixth Series

Rockne O'Bannon talks in his sleep, and we have microphones secreted liberally throughout his bedroom. One of these microphones picked up some interesting mumblings:

'....bad monkey....(inaudible)....season 6....Charlton Heston.....sheep....(inaudible)....must have breakfast....bad monkey....(inaudible)....Brannon Braga....' Make of them what you will, but we're somewhat afraid.



DISCLAIMER: (Don't sue us, we're pathetic) This is so made up. We mean absolutely no offence. We all love Farscape, and the actors and crew involved in making our favourite show. This should be seen for what it is, a tribute. If by some bizarre, and frankly disturbing coincidence Mr. Browder does indeed enjoy the company of voles, then we apologise unreservedly.

Farscape and all it's subsidiary bits are owned by some other people and not us. Anything illegal we do is purely by accident and that includes the credit card scam and Bob's marijuana farm.