Farscape Story (3)
beg your forgiveness for this. It was supposed to be a real fic,
well, real sillyfic, but really, and it turned into a rip-off
of Mike Resnick's "His Award-Winning Science Fiction Story."
It didn't start out that way. And I didn't think of the title
until I was writing chapter 22, so it's not like I meant for
it to be this way. Please, if anyone has read that story, don't
be mad at me. And if you haven't, this won't make sense. And
now that I got all the weirdness out, I can write my REAL sillyfic,
one with Crais and love letters and all that jazz. The only reason
I'm posting is that the voices are making me.
going to be a chapter 2?" Aeryn asked snippily. "Hey!"
she yelled indignantly, "that wasn't snippy. It was just
a question. Since there was no chapter 2 last time, there shouldn't
be a chapter 1 if there is no chapter 2."
right," agreed Crichton.
up," said Corde. "I swear, you are the worst characters"
not even yours," Chia Pet said smarmily. "And don't
call me Chia Pet!"
I call you what I want," replied Corde smugly.
I get any lines this time?" asked Zhaan. "Hey look,
all of you just leave me alone for a few minutes so I can write
this frelling fic?" Corde screamed in frustration. "What
is the MATTER with you PEOPLE?"
that's my line," Crichton muttered plaintively.
yelled Corde. "Gentle readers, I apologize for the delay.
The fic will begin shortly."
sure?" asked Aeryn.
down her quill and parchment and stomps away yelling curses in
Klingon. D'Argo watches her leave. "Whoa," he remarks,
"mouth like a sailor"
is anyone else having Resnick flashbacks?" asked Chia Pet.
Loni Anderson shows up," said Zhaan. "Or the gardener."
the gardener wasn't in that one," said Aeryn.
going on?" asked Pilot.
just ripped off an entire Resnick story, and it isn't even as
good as the original," answered Moya.
that mean we all get to do it with Loni Anderson?" Pilot
Loni Anderson?" wondered Chia Pet.
your time, dear," answered Zhaan. "Before Corde's too,
but she read Resnick.
Call me Ishmael.
It was not
born; it was made. It came out of the darkness. It had no home
now an attempt at a direct quote falls flat on its face. And
it wasn't even that funny the first time. Give it up, Corde,"
Resnick, I'm trying to give you Resnick. Sorry, I don't have
the book right here in front of me" grumbled Corde.
chirped Loni Anderson.
Loni Anderson, who went down for the count.
you!" said Moya.
honey, where are you?" asked Bongo, Corde's muse.
are you doing? This fic sucks," said Bongo.
me about it. It was supposed to be really good, but it didn't
work, and now I'm kinda stuck in it" Corde began to whimper.
worry, I can fix it," said Bongo reassuringly.
that a fix?" demanded Aeryn.
call it an end. So now Corde can stop this nonsense and write
the fic she wants to," replied Bongo testily.
grumbled Aeryn. "Sheesh, this entire story just bites. Even
the title is ripped off Resnick. I really hope the Shippers have
read Resnick, or else they're gonna kick you right off the list."