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Her award-winning
Farscape Story (3)
Chapter One
I humbly
beg your forgiveness for this. It was supposed to be a real fic,
well, real sillyfic, but really, and it turned into a rip-off
of Mike Resnick's "His Award-Winning Science Fiction Story."
It didn't start out that way. And I didn't think of the title
until I was writing chapter 22, so it's not like I meant for
it to be this way. Please, if anyone has read that story, don't
be mad at me. And if you haven't, this won't make sense. And
now that I got all the weirdness out, I can write my REAL sillyfic,
one with Crais and love letters and all that jazz. The only reason
I'm posting is that the voices are making me.
Corde
"Is there
going to be a chapter 2?" Aeryn asked snippily. "Hey!"
she yelled indignantly, "that wasn't snippy. It was just
a question. Since there was no chapter 2 last time, there shouldn't
be a chapter 1 if there is no chapter 2."
"She's
right," agreed Crichton.
"Shut
up," said Corde. "I swear, you are the worst characters"
"And we're
not even yours," Chia Pet said smarmily. "And don't
call me Chia Pet!"
"My fic,
I call you what I want," replied Corde smugly.
"And do
I get any lines this time?" asked Zhaan. "Hey look,
I do!"
D'Argo growled.
"Will
all of you just leave me alone for a few minutes so I can write
this frelling fic?" Corde screamed in frustration. "What
is the MATTER with you PEOPLE?"
"Hey,
that's my line," Crichton muttered plaintively.
"NOT ANYMORE!"
yelled Corde. "Gentle readers, I apologize for the delay.
The fic will begin shortly."
Chapter 1
"Are you
sure?" asked Aeryn.
Corde throws
down her quill and parchment and stomps away yelling curses in
Klingon. D'Argo watches her leave. "Whoa," he remarks,
"mouth like a sailor"
Chapter 7
"Okay,
is anyone else having Resnick flashbacks?" asked Chia Pet.
"Not until
Loni Anderson shows up," said Zhaan. "Or the gardener."
"I thought
the gardener wasn't in that one," said Aeryn.
"He wasn't,"
said Zhaan.
"What's
going on?" asked Pilot.
"Corde
just ripped off an entire Resnick story, and it isn't even as
good as the original," answered Moya.
"Does
that mean we all get to do it with Loni Anderson?" Pilot
asked eagerly.
"Who's
Loni Anderson?" wondered Chia Pet.
"Before
your time, dear," answered Zhaan. "Before Corde's too,
but she read Resnick.
Chapter 22
Call me Ishmael.
Chapter 23
It was not
born; it was made. It came out of the darkness. It had no home
"Oh wow,
now an attempt at a direct quote falls flat on its face. And
it wasn't even that funny the first time. Give it up, Corde,"
advised Aeryn.
"You wanted
Resnick, I'm trying to give you Resnick. Sorry, I don't have
the book right here in front of me" grumbled Corde.
"Hiya!"
chirped Loni Anderson.
Zhaan punched
Loni Anderson, who went down for the count.
"Thank
you!" said Moya.
"Corde,
honey, where are you?" asked Bongo, Corde's muse.
"Hiding,"
said Corde.
"What
are you doing? This fic sucks," said Bongo.
"Tell
me about it. It was supposed to be really good, but it didn't
work, and now I'm kinda stuck in it" Corde began to whimper.
"Don't
worry, I can fix it," said Bongo reassuringly.
THE END
"You call
that a fix?" demanded Aeryn.
"No, I
call it an end. So now Corde can stop this nonsense and write
the fic she wants to," replied Bongo testily.
"Fine,"
grumbled Aeryn. "Sheesh, this entire story just bites. Even
the title is ripped off Resnick. I really hope the Shippers have
read Resnick, or else they're gonna kick you right off the list."
Corde burst
into tears.
THE END
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