Established: 03 March 2002

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JOHN: Slicker'n snot.

AERYN: My microbes had to have translated that one wrongly.

JOHN: Southern metaphors, darlin'. You ain't heard the half of `em.


ZHAAN: Teaching Crichton takes time, D'Argo.

D'ARGO: Teaching Crichton is a waste of time.


PILOT: So sorry. I appear to have hit the wrong Comm.


JOHN: Can you pass me that axe?

JOHN: Yeah. What are you going to do with it?

AERYN: I'm going to hack my foot off.

JOHN: Oh, no. Well, let me, then.


RYGEL: You think it was easy? He's an abominable player. A switched-off DRD would have made a better showing for itself. Oh, please!


JOHN: It's colder than a frog's ass.


JOHN: Is he dangerous?

D'ARGO: Merely annoying.


STAANZ: I'm lonely. Everybody needs a mate, Ka D'Argo. Even you.

JOHN: A mate?

STAANZ: I am the female of the species, you know that, don't you? In fact, false modesty aside, I am considered quite the Zenetan beauty.

JOHN: You know, big guy, I think I'd better give you two a little time alone here...'cause you know, in a universe this vast, when two hearts collide...

D'ARGO: Shut up.


JOHN: One thing...just to be absolutely certain. You are the female of your species, right?


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DISCLAIMER: (Don't sue us, we're pathetic) This is so made up. We mean absolutely no offence. We all love Farscape, and the actors and crew involved in making our favourite show. This should be seen for what it is, a tribute. If by some bizarre, and frankly disturbing coincidence Mr. Browder does indeed enjoy the company of voles, then we apologise unreservedly.

Farscape and all it's subsidiary bits are owned by some other people and not us. Anything illegal we do is purely by accident and that includes the credit card scam and Bob's marijuana farm.