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In Which Nothing Really Happens
And Only Small Bits Of It Make Sense.
Also titled: Cordefic Number
Twenty, Which Is A Rather Significant Achievement If You Think
About It, Which You Probably Don't(21)
Okay, does anyone remember
the Cordefic that Lin wrote? It was really really good, even
if it was a long long long time ago. I started writing an awards
ceremony for her a long long time ago, just after she had written
it, but the scene was lost for a long long time. I just found
it again, so y'all get to read it in this one. Chapter 2, I think.
Aside from that, this one is just a vain attempt to keep my mind
off college.
Chapter 1
"Corde," said Tinka,
"I just want you to know that your last Cordefic was almost
well, it was kinda uh, gee, it was nearly dude, Corde, that thing
was practically SANE!"
Corde's jaw dropped. "It
was WHAT?!?"
"Uh sane-ish? Slightly
less than insane? A full load of bricks? An entire deck of cards?
A picnic plus several ants?"
Corde began to bawl.
Tinka attempted to soothe her.
"Now, I'm not saying it was BAD at all. I mean, it was still
FUNNY. It was just not as insane as your normal stuff."
Aeryn slapped Corde upside
the head. "I wasn't in it enough," she said.
Tinka nodded. "Yeah, pretty
much."
Chapter 2
A roar of cheering can be heard
in the distance.
"Don't use the passive
voice," said Aeryn, as she smacked Corde upside the head.
"Ow," said Corde.
Chapter 2
A crowd of voices chants, "Lin!
Lin! Lin!"
"And don't use present
tense, you crouton!" Aeryn yelled, smacking Corde yet again.
"Ow," said Corde.
Chapter 2
Corde dragged a blushing Lin
to a stage which had been placed in her fic for just such a purpose.
The shippers chanted, "Lin! Lin! Lin!" Corde handed
her a bouquet of pretty flowers and a glittery tiara. She then
snagged an Einstein's Bros. Bagel bag and read off the speech
that had been written on it in crayon.
"Lin," she said proudly,
"you have done very well. Your Cordefic honors all Cordefic
with its superfluous chapters, gratuitous use of false endings,
and most of all, its pure unadulterated silliness. You are being
honored with not only my prestigious Bagel of Approval, but also
my not-as-well-known-but-no-less-prestigious, perhaps moreso
because of its rarity, considering I only just came up with it,
in fact it was created just for Lin and"
Several voices shouted as one,
"GET ON WITH IT!"
"Right! Sorry," Corde
said. "Anyway Lin gets the Crosant of Achievement!"
Everyone cheered.
Aeryn smacked Corde upside
the head. "You spelled 'croissant' wrong."
Chapter 3
It was a normal day on Moya.
The sun was shining, birds were singing
Oh wait, no.
Chapter 3
It was a normal day on Moya.
There was no sun, and there were no birds. Well there was a Sun,
namely one ex-PK Aeryn Sun, but that's a rather overused pun,
so I didn't think I'd use it, but then it just sort of happened
"GET ON WITH IT!"
Right! Sorry.
Chapter 3
It was a normal day on Moya.
Aeryn and Crichton were tinkering with their respective ships
in the cargo bay, trying not to act like they were flirting with
each other. Zhaan was naked. D'Argo and Chi were well, you know.
Rygel was eating. Just a typical day.
"You've used that one
before," Aeryn said, smacking Corde per usual.
"Do what?" Corde
asked, rubbing the ever-growing lump on the back of her head.
"You've used that paragraph.
Except for the D'Argo and Chiana part. It's in the very second
Cordefic you ever wrote."
"DAMN," Corde said.
Chapter 3
Crichton and Aeryn were alone.
"WOO HOO!" the shippers
shouted..
"SHUT UP!" Corde
shouted. "You don't even know what they're going to do!"
"We can always hope!"
one shipper yelled back.
Chapter 3
Aeryn turned to Crichton and
said, "I would never say that!"
Crichton was confused. "What?"
"I was talking to Corde,"
Aeryn explained.
Corde sighed. "Stick to
the script, Aeryn."
Aeryn rolled her eyes.
Chapter 3
Aeryn turned to Crichton and
said, "You wanna do that thing?"
Crichton was still confused.
"What?"
Corde stalked over to Crichton,
smacked him upside the head, and yelled, "STICK TO THE FRELLING
SCRIPT!"
"Ow," said Crichton.
Chapter oh, to hell with it.
THE END
Chapter 4
"MOO!" Corde shouted.
Everyone stared at her.
THE END
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