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I Think It's Time To Stop When
Your Characters Are Singing So Loudly That Your Parents Can Hear
Them In The Other Room And They Ask Who That Man Is Singing And
You Have To Say That It's The Radio When It's Really A Peacekeeper
Captain(13)
I think this is the
last one, folks. It has been getting harder and harder to come
up with this stuff, and I think I just drained the last of it.
Well, SOMEthing was leaking out my ears I have to give idea-credit
and character-credit to Anthony. Tell Nirre I said thanks for
being in my fic. Oh, and just so you guys don't get all worried,
no, I did not, nor would I ever, go out with Crais. Although
he did sing to me
Disclaimer: This is Cordefic,
used with permission.
Chapter 1
As much as Corde hated to start
out a fic using someone else's idea, she found herself accepting
an invitation to dinner with Crais. Anthony had suggested it.
But he had also sent Larraq to escort her, so it wasn't all bad.
But at the last second, Larraq came down with some sort of virus,
so Corde went alone.
"Wait a minute,"
said Aeryn.
"Shouldn't that be 'microt'?"
asked Chia Pet.
"Shut up," Aeryn
replied. "As I was saying, wait a minute. Corde, you're
going to dinner with Crais?"
"Yeah, so?" said
Corde, who was studying herself in the mirror.
"You're going to DINNER
with the man who has vowed to hunt me down and KILL me?"
"Yeah, so? This is only
the first date I've been asked on inhmm, my life. Why shouldn't
I go?"
"BECAUSE HE WANTS TO KILL
ME!"
"And just for that you
assume he won't be a good date?"
Aeryn stalked off, muttering
sebacean curses.
Chapter 2
"I am so glad this is
a work of fiction," Aeryn remarked. "If it weren't,
I'd have to shoot your for that first chapter."
"Hey," said Corde,
"don't blame me. It was Anthony's idea."
Chapter 3
Corde sighed. ("There's
almost as much sighing around here as there is wandering! What's
up with that?" asked Chia Pet. "Shut up," Corde
told her.) It was nearly 11:30 and she was still on the first
page of her fic. Worse, she was totally drawing a blank.
"That's it," she
muttered. "I'm out of fic. I used it all up. It's gone.
GONE!" she moaned loudly.
"What's gone?" asked
Gabrielle.
"Crichton's beard,"
said Xena. "He had one in 'Jeremiah Crichton,' but he shaved
it for 'Durka Returns.'"
"I thought it was fake,
like Ares' facial hair in the first season of 'Xena,'" said
Gabrielle.
"I did too," said
Xena, "but Anthony says it was real."
"HEY!" Corde screamed.
"Hello! This is MY fic! What are you people doing here?"
Xena and Gabrielle looked at
each other and shrugged. "Don't ask us," said Gabrielle.
"It's your fic."
"We were tired of not
being updated by Missy Good," Xena added, "so we came
to chat with Aeryn. Is she around?"
"I'm here," said
Aeryn as she walked into the room munching on a Pop-Tart. "Hey
Xena, Gabrielle, how ya doin'?"
"Same old same old, died,
came back, went to Chin, saved the world, got pregnant. You know,"
said Xena. The three laughed.
Corde sat at her computer pouting
as Xena, Gabrielle and Aeryn chatted about fighting techniques
and rehashed their oldest argument about the pantac jab vs. the
pinch. It was nearly 11:45 and she was no closer to anything
resembling a plot. Sometimes crossovers sucked.
Chapter 4
Bongo laughed at Corde. "I
know I say this all the time, Corde, but I must admit that this
truly IS your worst fic ever."
A ten-year-old girl walked
up to Bongo and smacked him upside the head.
"Thanks, Nirre,"
said Corde.
"No problem," said
Nirre, and she walked out.
Bongo stared in shock. "Who
was that?"
Corde replied, "Anthony's
AU Crichton-Sun offspring. Cute, ain't she? She surely is her
mother's daughter.
"Shoulda known,"
Bongo muttered. "She has the same technique"
Chapter 5
"Wow, look. You made it
to the third page," said Aeryn, "and it only took you
three hours."
"I was attic surfing for
two and a half of it," Corde snapped. "And look what
I found! Baby pictures of little Aeryn! Aww Here, let me send
them to the shippers."
Aeryn shrugged. "Okay.
I was an adorable baby, wasn't I?"
Crichton drooled on his (bare,
for some odd reason) chest. "You sure were, Aeryn."
Aeryn picked up another stack
of pictures. "While you, on the other hand" She held
up a picture of a baby monkey. "Whew. It's a wonder your
mother didn't drown you."
Bongo snatched the picture
from Aeryn's hand. "That's me," he said.
Chapter 6
"Does anyone else realize
that these chapters are getting shorter?" asked Aeryn.
"That means Corde it running
out of ideas," said Corde. "And when Corde runs out
of ideas, she also speaks in the third person. Rather like some
of the shippers"
CRISTIN!
"Wuss," said Zhaan.
D'Argo jete'd across the room
wearing his favorite purple tutu.
"Ahem. If you are quite
finished" said Aeryn.
"Hey, if it worked once,
it will work again!" said Corde. "At least, that's
what Sylvester Stallone said about the Rocky movies"
-and then it all just went
bleh-
THE END
"Oh great, stealing from
Resnick wasn't enough, now you have to steal from Douglas Adams
too?" said Aeryn.
"That wasn't Adams,"
Corde denied. "It was me, years ago. If anything, it was
my brother. Hey, it could have been worse."
"How?" Aeryn asked.
"I could have blown everything
up."
-and then, everything exploded-
"CRICHTON!" Aeryn
yelled. "GET THE MOP!"
THE END
**Author's note: In case anyone
was wondering, I write the fic first, then the introductory paragraph,
then the title. It's kinda backwards. Okay, really backwards.
So that's why the titles don't always make sense.**
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