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The Scene

Opening scene. Namtar is preparing to jab Johnny in the eye.

What went wrong!

NAMTAR/JULIAN(VOICE): If you wish to blink, now would be the time.

BEN: Just do it, if you're gonna do it.

NAMTAR guides the needle into BEN's eye.

BEN: Ow! Jesus! I thought we were gonna use rubber needles, or something!

DIRECTOR: We were.

CLAUDIA: (Giggles)

BEN: Ow, my eye! Stings!

JULIAN: Awfully sorry old boy.

BEN: Yeah, well, you're just the voice, so don't worry about it. Doctor!

DOCTOR: (Sighs) What now?

BEN: Needle! Eye! Get the picture?

DOCTOR: If you're going to take that tone with me!

DIRECTOR: Someone check that needle.

BEN: Yeah!

CLAUDIA: (Laughing) It was me! Haha!

BEN: Bitch!


KEMPER: Claudia! Insurance!

BEN: Screw the insurance! What about my baby blue?

CLAUDIA: Oh no, poor widdle Benny...

BEN: Doc!

DOCTOR: That's it! I quit! You're all a bunch of freaks! (leaves)

BEN: Hey, doc, no...please, come on...I'm eye!

CLAUDIA: (Rolling around the floor in fits of laughter)

BEN: Will someone please help me!?

KEMPER: Do we have another doctor?

BRIAN: Well, Joey who cleans the toilets knows a bit of first aid.

BEN: Joey! No way, man! He drinks! Shakes! Shakes? My eye? Shakes? See what I'm getting at?

JOEY: Hey man! Screw you! I quit! (Leaves)

BEN: Hey, Joey! No man, I'm sorry...(Whimpers)


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DISCLAIMER: (Don't sue us, we're pathetic) This is so made up. We mean absolutely no offence. We all love Farscape, and the actors and crew involved in making our favourite show. This should be seen for what it is, a tribute. If by some bizarre, and frankly disturbing coincidence Mr. Browder does indeed enjoy the company of voles, then we apologise unreservedly.

Farscape and all it's subsidiary bits are owned by some other people and not us. Anything illegal we do is purely by accident and that includes the credit card scam and Bob's marijuana farm.