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© Copyright Dylan Pemberton 2002.





Bet you can't guess who is speaking to whom. If you figure it out before the end, email me and I'll send you a prize.


"Aww honey, sweetie, baby, you know it didn't mean anything! I'm yours, totally, utterly, completely look, d'you want me to grovel? I'm groveling, here, I'm down on my knees-"


"Not an unusual position for you, apparently."


"Sugar, don't be like that! It was a mistake, and accident, it will never happen again! I swear, it only happened a few times, I'll never do it again, never, ever, ever-"


"A few times?!?"


"Uh just that once and that other once and one other time, but that's all, I swear! I was gonna tell you, darlin', honest I was, but this time I told myself that it would never happen again and that if I told you, it would only hurt you-"


"Whatever gave you that idea?"


"Oh, honeybun, don't be sarcastic. I'm sorry, really, truly I am, you know I love you and I'll never, ever do anything like that ever again-"


"Damn right you won't."


"No, no, of course not, never, ever-"


"because if you ever do it again, we're through."


<gasp> "No! No, babydoll, don't say that! I love you! I love you; I'll never ever do it again! I need you, sugarplum, I love you, you're the only one who understands me!"


"Yeah, but it doesn't mean I care."


<sob, sniffle> "Honeycakes, you can't be serious! After all we've been through, all we've meant to each other you're the only one for me, muffin. You know that. I love you; I've always loved you. Please, can you give me one more chance?"


<sigh> "All right. You've earned that much, at least. But next time you want flying lessons, Chiana, don't ask Crichton. I'll teach you in my Prowler, if you like, but I don't want to think about how dangerous that white death-pod of his could be."


<from the other side of the room> "Hey, Aeryn, don't spaz. I was only trying to help Chi"


<jaw drop>


"Chiana, stop drooling, please. Crichton, would you be willing to repeat that, with your pants on this time?"


<muffled> "I can't. D'Argo has them."

DISCLAIMER: (Don't sue us, we're pathetic) This is so made up. We mean absolutely no offence. We all love Farscape, and the actors and crew involved in making our favourite show. This should be seen for what it is, a tribute. If by some bizarre, and frankly disturbing coincidence Mr. Browder does indeed enjoy the company of voles, then we apologise unreservedly.

Farscape and all it's subsidiary bits are owned by some other people and not us. Anything illegal we do is purely by accident and that includes the credit card scam and Bob's marijuana farm.