THE SCENE
Chiana approaches
Neanderthal Crichton in his cell.
WHAT WENT WRONG!
GIGI: Hey!
Hey! Heeeey! It's okay. It's me, Pip.
CAVEMAN BEN:
What happened?
GIGI: You lost
it for a microt. You remember?
CAVEMAN BEN:
Uh....sphere. (sniffs) Must know what happened, Chiana.
GIGI: (giggles)
BEN: What's
the matter with you?
GIGI: I'm sorry,
it's just this is so you, Ben.
BEN: What do
you mean, woman?!
GIGI: I mean
the whole Neanderthal thing.
BEN: Oh, I
get it. It's that time in the episode where everyone takes the
piss out of Ben!
CLAUDIA: What
matter, Cavemoron. We hurt feelings. (giggles)
BEN: You know,
I do have feelings!
ANTH: (pulls
bic lighter from pocket and flicks it open) Look, Caveman. Fire!
BEN: Everybody
just shut up!
GIGI: Oh no!
We makem caveman mad.
CLAUDIA: Yes,
his brow does seem rather, um, furrowed!
BEN: Ha bloody
ha! Just remember who dies this series!
KEMPER: Ben
no allowed in Big Chief's trailer anymore. (giggles)
BRIAN: David,
isn't that more of your stereotypical Native American? And besides,
I'm the Big Chief.
ROCKNE: Actually
Brian. That would be me.
CLAUDIA: We
makem cavemoron cry.
BEN: (covers
his face) Am not!
CLAUDIA: Cry
cavebaby!
BRIAN: Um,
Rockne. Who makes this series? I don't believe it's the O'Bannon
company.
KEMPER: Look,
you're both just the money men. I'm the creative force behind
this project! Who was it who thought of giving Ben a beard in
'Jeremiah Crichton'? Me!
BEN: (openly
sobs) Leave me alone! You're so horrid!
CLAUDIA: Ben
no like me anymore.
BEN: (whispering
so only the transcriber can hear) Oh, but I do my sweet Claudia.
Oh but I do. That's why it wounds me so grievously.
CLAUDIA: Speak
up, cavemoron!
ROCKNE: Look!
This whole series was my bloody idea!
BRIAN: The...Henson...Company!
KEMPER: Shut
up, Brian. You're just living off your Dad's fame.
BEN: Please,
everyone...! Please stop fighting!
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