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© Copyright Dylan Pemberton 2002.



JOHN: D'Argo, green or black?

D'ARGO: Well black of course. I mean far be it for me to say but I've always thought the colour of that green shirt doesn't suit the shape of your body.


RYGEL: Now, it is permissible for you to be the focus of attention if I desire it, and I do so desire it.


RYGEL: And since she's arrived, sweet Orrhn has been atop me or beneath me or-

JOHN: Okay, there's a mental Polaroid we can all live without Ryg!


CRAIS: Well you don't think that that's the head and that's the mouth?

JOOL: Well, not unless he sits on his mouth.


JOHN: Rygel look I completely understand, but you cannot let the little appendage start telling the big appendage what to do.

CRAIS: I've used all the brain matter we've found so far. It's possible the part of his memory that holds the answer isn't here.

JOHN: Either that or we're tracking it all over the ship with our shoes.

ORRHN: The pleasure Dominar, was all yours.

RYGEL: You were faking?

ORRHN: Ugh! Males!


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DISCLAIMER: (Don't sue us, we're pathetic) This is so made up. We mean absolutely no offence. We all love Farscape, and the actors and crew involved in making our favourite show. This should be seen for what it is, a tribute. If by some bizarre, and frankly disturbing coincidence Mr. Browder does indeed enjoy the company of voles, then we apologise unreservedly.

Farscape and all it's subsidiary bits are owned by some other people and not us. Anything illegal we do is purely by accident and that includes the credit card scam and Bob's marijuana farm.