Established: 03 March 2002

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© Copyright Dylan Pemberton 2002.



D'ARGO: As John once said, 'I would rather go down on a swing.'

JOHN: Swinging! You wanna go down...swinging!


CHIANA: What, you - you can't eat? What, any fever? Or dizziness? Or secretions that are even abnormal for you?


JOHN: No, I win. Paper wraps rocks.

D'ARGO: No, paper cannot possibly beat rock!

JOHN: It does. Paper beats rock.

D'ARGO: Rock rips through paper!

JOHN: D'Argo, that's not how it works. Paper beats rocks.

D'ARGO: That's unrealistic.

JOHN: Well, it's the rules! And it's not supposed to be realistic, it's supposed to be entertaining.

D'ARGO: My coma was more entertaining.


JOHN: Right, and how many times have you and I been close?

AERYN: Just the once.

JOHN Uh, no, no no, not that kind of close.


D'ARGO: It was a time-saver. You look after her while I go and break Crais' neck.

JOHN: D'Argo, you couldn't break wind right now.


JOHN: Do sebaceans have a word for chutzpah?


JOHN: You want to have a mid-life crisis? Fine, just ditch the firm, head off to Maui, shack up with the supermodel, but you do not get to keep the Porsche!


RYGEL: May your afterlife be almost as pleasant as mine.


D'ARGO: Besides, if I die, you can eat me.

AERYN: You don't look ripe to me.


CRAIS: You hunt me down? That would complete the symmetry nicely, wouldn't it?



DISCLAIMER: (Don't sue us, we're pathetic) This is so made up. We mean absolutely no offence. We all love Farscape, and the actors and crew involved in making our favourite show. This should be seen for what it is, a tribute. If by some bizarre, and frankly disturbing coincidence Mr. Browder does indeed enjoy the company of voles, then we apologise unreservedly.

Farscape and all it's subsidiary bits are owned by some other people and not us. Anything illegal we do is purely by accident and that includes the credit card scam and Bob's marijuana farm.