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© Copyright Dylan Pemberton 2002.



D'ARGO: You do not have to go down there, your flatulence.


CHIANA: Distress call. Directed at us?

JOHN: How stupid is that?


D'ARGO: Well, to put it in perspective, Zhaan, you are the least thing on this asteroid that I am allergic to.

JOHN: The big guy's got a point. My rashes have got rashes.


D'ARGO: Zhaan, let me explain to you what's going on inside my nose right now. There's large pieces of green mucus gunk--

JOHN: D'Argo. D'Argo. D'Argo. No, no, no, no. Stop it with the Luxan poetry.


JOHN: All right. One quick trip to the pharmacy coming up. Out the door, turn left at the creature.


JOHN: No, it doesn't bother me. I just never suspected...You're a vegetable?!


JOHN: M'Lee? Take it outside, M'Lee. Us southern boys don't make good eatin'.


JOHN: Is that before or after I supply your recommended daily allowance of calcium?


ZHAAN: There is much cruelty in the universe.

JOHN: Yeah, we seem to have a treasure map to it.


SCORPIUS: As a matter of honor, sometimes we must be willing to give of ourselves.


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DISCLAIMER: (Don't sue us, we're pathetic) This is so made up. We mean absolutely no offence. We all love Farscape, and the actors and crew involved in making our favourite show. This should be seen for what it is, a tribute. If by some bizarre, and frankly disturbing coincidence Mr. Browder does indeed enjoy the company of voles, then we apologise unreservedly.

Farscape and all it's subsidiary bits are owned by some other people and not us. Anything illegal we do is purely by accident and that includes the credit card scam and Bob's marijuana farm.