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© Copyright Dylan Pemberton 2002.

 

 

 

THE SCENE

D'Argo and Nilaam (Melissa), as Nilaam decides she wants to die again.

WHAT WENT WRONG!

ANTH: It is time.

MELISSA: D'Argo... the gifts you gave me. Youth, happiness, passion... I know I can't keep them, but, ah... I have treasured them.

ANTH: As I've treasured you.

MELISSA: I'm not afraid anymore. I've chosen my path. I just don't know if I have the will to travel it. I turned back once... I can't turn back again. I need your strength once more.

ANTH: (breaks into wracking sobs) Oh man! That was too beautiful.

MELISSA: Thanks!

ANTH: I mean, I really felt the emotion.

MELISSA: (blushes) Well, I try.

ANTH: Try!? No! You do so much more than try.

MELISSA: (smiles, looking a little embarrassed now)

ANTH: I mean, I'm so used to working with sub-standard actors like Ben and Claudia, that it's a real pleasure to work with a professional.

BEN: Hey!

CLAUDIA: Oi!

ANTH: I mean, what with the poor scripts and abysmal direction we work under, it's incredible how you managed to wring such a performance from the tawdry material we have to work with.

GRANT (WRITER): Arsehole!

DIRECTOR: Tosser!

MELISSA: (glances about, not sure what to say)

ANTH: And as for the producers!

KEMPER: Anth? Nilaam doesn't have to be the one who dies in this scene, you know. Are we going to be a good boy?

ANTH: Um, yes sir. Sorry, sir.

 

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DISCLAIMER: (Don't sue us, we're pathetic) This is so made up. We mean absolutely no offence. We all love Farscape, and the actors and crew involved in making our favourite show. This should be seen for what it is, a tribute. If by some bizarre, and frankly disturbing coincidence Mr. Browder does indeed enjoy the company of voles, then we apologise unreservedly.

Farscape and all it's subsidiary bits are owned by some other people and not us. Anything illegal we do is purely by accident and that includes the credit card scam and Bob's marijuana farm.