THE SCENE
In an attempt
to get a real feel for the Farscape set our intrepid transcriber
took herself behind the scenes, eavesdropping on two members
of the crew discussing the scene being filmed before them.
WHAT WENT WRONG!
CLAUDE (BOOM):
I don't see why these blokes get paid so much. I mean, how hard
can it be?
JIMBO (LIGHTING):
Yeah, I know what you mean, Claude buddy. I've been in this business
twenty odd years now, and apart from that time Jeff Goldblum
got his knob stuck in one of the fans on the set of Jurassic
Park, I can safely say, it's always struck me as a damned easy
job.
CLAUDE: Ow!
Poor blighter! Wish something like that would happen to Browder.
Certainly brighten up my day.
JIMBO: Hey!
I like Browder! Better than the dragon queen!
CLAUDE: (whispers
in an urgent tone) Jeez, Jimbo! Keep it down! She'll hear you!
JIMBO: Yeah,
like I care!
CLAUDE: Don't
you remember what happened to old Stevo who worked in catering?
JIMBO: (blanches)
Jesus! Poor bloke. Never been the same since has he.
CLAUDE: That's
right. Poor blighter still walks with a limp.
JIMBO: (shakes
head) Poor mucker.
CLAUDE: Wish
Browder would walk with a limp.
JIMBO: Jeez,
Claude what you got against that guy?
CLAUDE: You
know my wife Terry? Well, she thinks he's really hot or something.
Do you know she told me last month?
JIMBO: No idea,
mate.
CLAUDE: Well
apparently, when we're doing 'the business', she likes to think
about Browder!
JIMBO: Jeez
mate! When was that?
CLAUDE: Just
before we started filming 'Taking the Stone'.
JIMBO: Oh,
so that's why you kept dropping the boom on Browder's head.
CLAUDE: (grins)
Yeah, got 'im good a couple of times there!
JIMBO: That
you did. Poor bastard couldn't see straight for days.
CLAUDE: Yep,
and I'm glad. Don't like that Browder at all.
JIMBO: Fair
enough mate. What about Gigi then?
CLAUDE: Oh
man, Gigi! I tells ya, since my old lady told me about her thinking
about Browder when we're doing it, you'll never guess who old
Claude's been thinking about!
JIMBO: (laughs)
Go on mate! Good on ya! She's one good looking woman alright!
CLAUDE: Yeah,
too right.
JIMBO: Do you
know old Brucey who works in the carpentry department?
CLAUDE: Is
that the bloke who thinks he's Jesus?
JIMBO: Yeah,
thats's the bloke. Well, he's got this peephole set up in Gigi's
trailer.
CLAUDE: No
shit!?
JIMBO: Tell
you what, mate. Once we're finished up here, I'll show you. You
might have to wait about for a bit though, as there's always
a bit of a queue.
CLAUDE: Cheers
mate!
JIMBO: So what
about Kemper then?
CLAUDE: Tosser.
JIMBO: Yeah.
<prev next>
|
