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The Scene

In the bar. Johnny and Miss Sun have just discovered the now gentle D'Argo.
 
 

What went wrong!

ANTH: I am no warrior. I've been a prisoner now and a fugitive longer than I was ever a warrior. Don't you feel it's time I stopped lying to myself about who I really am? Here, my efforts have purpose. There comes a time in every Luxan's life, where he just has to say enough is enough...

BEN: Er, big guy, not in the script.

ANTH: (Not even pausing for breath) ...you see, once I was this lumbering fool, who went around all day doing the wrong thing all the time. But I've changed. Can you see it? I'm not the same man I used to be, and I think it's for the better....

DIRECTOR: Cut!

ANTH: ...it makes me want to sing! I have a song! Do you want to hear it?

EVERYBODY: NO!!!

ANTH: Good....(Breaking into song) 'There once was a Luxan man....he lived in a Luxan world....but wherever this Luxan went....trouble was sure to follow...'

CLAUDIA: Please stop! It doesn't even rhyme.

ANTH: '...he tried so hard not to be...but in the end he always was....a Luxan man in a Luxan world....a Luxan man in a Luxan shell...'

DIRECTOR: Cut!!!! Cut! Cut!

KEMPER: Get the tranquilizer gun.

ANTH: 'Oh to be a Luxan man....a Luxan man to be....oh to see the fields of home....a Luxan home for me....'

CLAUDIA: (Crying) Make him stop! Please! In the name of all that's good and holy!

BEN: (Laughing) Ha! A weakness Miss Black!

ANTH: '...to see the Luxan homes....the Luxan trees...the Luxan cars...the Luxan bees...'

ROCKNE: Hey, that rhymed!

BEN: (Singing) '....Oh a Luxan man to be....'

CLAUDIA: (Screaming)

ANTH AND BEN: '....it's a Luxan life for me....a Luxan life by the sea....a Luxan life by a tree...I love those Luxan bees....'

CLAUDIA: (Collapses)

ANTH AND BEN: '....I'm a Luxan, and I'm okay...I work all night, and sleep all day...a Luxan life for me....'

DIRECTOR: Screw it! (Singing) '....Oh a Luxan life for me!'

EVERYBODY, EXCEPT CLAUDIA: '....Oh a Luxan life for me!'

CLAUDIA: (gibbers)

 

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DISCLAIMER: (Don't sue us, we're pathetic) This is so made up. We mean absolutely no offence. We all love Farscape, and the actors and crew involved in making our favourite show. This should be seen for what it is, a tribute. If by some bizarre, and frankly disturbing coincidence Mr. Browder does indeed enjoy the company of voles, then we apologise unreservedly.

Farscape and all it's subsidiary bits are owned by some other people and not us. Anything illegal we do is purely by accident and that includes the credit card scam and Bob's marijuana farm.