David Kemper (conducted by me, Bob!)
Please, call me David.
So, Mr. Kemper, Farscape? Where'd it go wrong?
Okay. I don't believe it has. You are a fan, yes?
with his tie> Okay. Fair enough.
ME: So, are
you going to answer the question, or avoid it like you avoid
decent storylines and character development?
DK: Um, you're
ME: Am I really?
<sneers> I'm not one of those 'yes' men you surround yourself
with, I'm afraid. I could always get Zoe Ball in if I'm being
too tough on you?
DK: Zoe Ball?
I'm sorry, I just thought this was an interview for a fansite.
ME: It is.
DK: But you
said you're not a fan.
ME: I'm not.
I'm the alternative viewpoint if you like.
DK: Oh, I see.
ME: Well done.
Wasn't that hard, now was it?
DK: No, I guess
enough avoidance. The question?
Where'd it go wrong?
DK: Oh. Well,
I don't believe it has.
ME: You wouldn't.
DK: Look! I
appreciate that you may have a differing viewpoint from me, but
there's no need to be disrespectful!
ME: Oh diddums.
I'm sorry, Mr. Kemper. Did you drop your retainer?
rapidly to his feet> Now look here young man! Either you show
some damned respect or this interview is over!
matter, wittle Mr. Kemper? The questions too hard for you? Shall
I write them down in crayon for you?
it! Interview over!
ME: Okay. You
go run back to your mummy.
DK: Fuck you!
DK: Shut up!
ME: Make me!
DK: I said
ME: Or what?
You going to give me a fake beard?
ME in the face>
ME: Ow! That
deeply, then sits down> Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have
hit you, but you got my gander up.
ME: Pfft! You
punch like a girl!
on ME, and begins pummeling>
ME: Ow! Ouch!
DK: Die you