Established: 03 March 2002

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© Copyright Dylan Pemberton 2002.



Gigi Edgley (conducted by me, Dyl!)


ME: <blushes> Hi.

GE: <smiles broadly, filling the world with an almost Holy light> Hey!

ME: Hi.

GE: <smiles again, rendering the infirm well> Um, hey. Again.

ME: Hi.

GE: Are you okay?

ME: Hi.

GE: <glances at Katie who's taking the notes> Is he okay?

KATIE: Depends what you mean by okay.

GE: Oh.

ME: Hi.

GE: Er, hello. Are you a little shy?

ME: You're very pretty.

GE: <smiles, bringing peace to the Middle East> Thank you!

ME: Hi.

GE: Okay. Think we've done this one. Any more questions?

ME: You're very pretty.

GE: Thank you. Again.

ME: Hi.

GE: <stares quizically>

ME: I like you.

GE: <smiles, causing poets everywhere to take their own lives as they realise their talents would never be enough to fully describe the prettiness of Gigi's smile> Thank you. I like you too.

ME: Do you want to be my girlfriend?

GE: Oh, um, well I already have a boyfriend.

ME: <deflates audibly> You do!

GE: Yes, I'm afraid so.

ME: But you can't!

GE: Sorry!

ME: You're very pretty.

KATIE: <sighs>

ME: Do you want to be my girlfriend?

GE: Are you sure you're okay?

ME: I'd be a good boyfriend. I'm nice to animals, I have a job, and my penis is only slightly smaller than average.

GE: That's, um, very nice to know.

ME: So you will then?

GE: <smiles, and for a nanosecond the Universe collapses in upon itself, so lovely is the smile that it breaks several long established Physical Laws. Then someone points out that this is a bit stupid, and the Universe rapidly re-eastablishes itself> I tell you what. If me a my boyfriend split up, I'll give you a call.

ME: <wonders why Katie has turned into a rabbit> Cool!

GE: Happy now?

ME: So very happy!

GE: <smiles, causing, um, something particuarly odd, and, er, amazing to happen> Good!

ME: Hi.

DISCLAIMER: (Don't sue us, we're pathetic) This is so made up. We mean absolutely no offence. We all love Farscape, and the actors and crew involved in making our favourite show. This should be seen for what it is, a tribute. If by some bizarre, and frankly disturbing coincidence Mr. Browder does indeed enjoy the company of voles, then we apologise unreservedly.

Farscape and all it's subsidiary bits are owned by some other people and not us. Anything illegal we do is purely by accident and that includes the credit card scam and Bob's marijuana farm.