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Chapter Seven

Jool and Chiana


A flash of orange hair could be seen swooping through one of the cargo bays as a figure scooted about, searching. It disappeared, bending down to look inside a large container. On the other side of the room, a similarly shaped, but distinctly grey, figure was ambling between two large boxes. Each was unbeknownst to the other.

Jool was practically inside the box by the time she found what she was looking for. She was bent over the edge, one foot on the ground, and the other stuck out behind her in an attempt to balance, with her entire body from the waist up obstructed from view. She'd managed to clear a path inside the box to get to what she knew was in there. It was, annoyingly, just out of reach.

She strained a little further, standing on tiptoe with her remaining foot and leaning slightly more inside. Just as her fingers brushed the edge of the item, she completely lost her footing and tumbled head first into the box.

There was a muffled "Frell!" and then she sighed. At least now she could reach it, even though she'd been hoping to get at it without having to climb anywhere. She removed the hair from her face and cleared the last of the debris from on top of the object until she could prise it free.

To her dismay, it fell apart in her hands, the pressure of the box's contents having been on top of it for the last cycle finally taking its toll.

Jool resisted the overwhelming urge to scream and instead punched the base of the box in frustration. Hauling herself out again, she looked around. There had to be something she could use for a present. In a flash of inspiration, she saw something, smiled to herself, and made her way towards it.

On the other side of the room, Chiana was being incredibly unsuccessful in her hunt for a gift. Like Jool, she knew exactly who to give it to, and she had a pretty good idea of what to give, but she was frelled if she could find anything. Just when she was considering going to Aeryn's quarters to see what she could snerch, she spotted it

It was lying on top of a pile of containers, glinting in the half-light. It was perfect! The only drawback was that it was very high up and potentially hazardous. Luckily, Chiana liked climbing. This was going to be easy.

She began to hum something as she made her way over to the pile of metal boxes. She examined them carefully, making sure they were safe to climb, and then began her ascent. Within microts, she was stuck, unable to see how to get down again, and similarly unable to find another foothold to go any higher. She cursed to herself. She could see the object from her position if she could just move a fraction of a metra to her right

She shuffled, tenaciously, and, holding firm with her left hand, reached out the other to make a grab for the item. Instead of the cool metal she had been anticipating, she came in contact with someone else's hand. She screamed. So did the hand's owner, with an unmistakable, metal-melting noise.

"YOU!?" they both yelled, then held tighter onto the now teetering tower of boxes. Whatever Jool had melted this time, it had obviously affected the containers.

"Now look what you did!" accused Chiana, as they swayed.

"Me?" Jool's hair flashed red. "You were the one who scared me!"

"I scared you?" The tower wobbled again, and they clung on tighter. "What are you doin' up here, anyway?"

The Interon said nothing for a few microts, and then: "I should ask you the same thing." Chiana huffed. They were both stuck, and this wasn't helping. All they could do was wait until they either fell off, died of starvation, or got saved. She was rooting for the latter. Then, she noticed Jool was eyeing the same object she'd been trying to get.

"Hey! I saw it first!"

"Did not!"

"Did, too!"

"Oh, that's mature, Chiana."

"You started it."

Jool sighed. This was getting them nowhere fast. "Who do you want it for?"

"Yeah, like I'm gonna tell you." A pause. "What about you?"

"Tell you what, if you can guess, you can have it."

"Really?" Chiana liked the sound of that. She didn't particularly enjoy guessing games, but as there was a wager involved, she was willing to try. "Okay, you're on. Same to you if I get it wrong."

"Well, technically, I get it if you get it wrong, anyway" Jool didn't finish the thought when she caught Chiana's look.

The two shook hands, gingerly. Chiana thought very carefully before she answered. "Hmm okay it's for John?"

Jool grinned. "Wrong."

"Frell!" Chiana sighed. There went that beautiful plan. "Go on, then, take it."

"Do I still get to guess yours?" asked Jool, carefully taking the item and examining it. Chiana shrugged in a "Go ahead" fashion. She looked thoughtful. "Let's see who might you be giving this to?" She looked at it, then Chiana, and cocked her head to the side. "John?"


Jool shrugged. "Oh well, I get it anyway."

"Frell you, Jool." Chiana chose that moment to smack her companion around the head which, of course, resulted in tipping the already precarious balance of the tower of containers. They both headed ground-wards, screaming in unison as they did, and landing with two very loud thuds.


Then, before Jool could retaliate, they both had to roll out of the way of the containers that were about to crush them.

When the dust settled, Chiana was the first to recover. Protruding from underneath one of the smaller boxes was a much larger, newer, and generally more aesthetically pleasing version of the prize she had lost to Jool. She swiftly grabbed it, hid it about her person, then went to help her up.

"What are you smiling about?"

"Oh, nothing. Here, I'll give you a hand up."

Chiana hauled Jool to her feet, then turned and left her, still smiling.

"What did you do, Chiana?" No answer. "Chiana?" The Nebari walked silently through the door. "Get back here!"


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DISCLAIMER: (Don't sue us, we're pathetic) This is so made up. We mean absolutely no offence. We all love Farscape, and the actors and crew involved in making our favourite show. This should be seen for what it is, a tribute. If by some bizarre, and frankly disturbing coincidence Mr. Browder does indeed enjoy the company of voles, then we apologise unreservedly.

Farscape and all it's subsidiary bits are owned by some other people and not us. Anything illegal we do is purely by accident and that includes the credit card scam and Bob's marijuana farm.