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Chapter
Seven
THE
INVISIBLE MAN AND I
Darien, Snarky
British Chick, Eberts, Monroe, and Hobbes were in the Official's
office, talking about the Philosophy of cheese. Suddenly, Darien
spotted something strange on the east wall of the Official's
office. After approximately four seconds, Darien realized that
it was a Cordhole because he was so amazingly smart and perfect
in every way. "Hey guys, look, big blue thing." He
said nonchalantly. Everyone looked and then asked him what it
was, and, since he was so amazingly smart and perfect in every
way, he told them that it was a Cordhole that lead to an alternate
dimension where Movies Are Real. After he told them this, everyone
got really excited about it while Darien just looked really handsome
and put more gel in his perfect hair.
"Darien,"
Snarky British Chick began, "do you know what this means?
This means that we could go through and get documentation of
this and prove to the world that Cordholes really do exist which
is something that I've longed to do ever since I was a very young
girl growing up in England which is how I got this ridiculous
accent and also every TV show has to have at least one character
with a British accent for instance Farscape does and it won the
Saturn award six million times do you see what I mean but actually
Invisible Man has me and we got canceled!"
"Or,"
Darien said, "we could just go through and find a way to
get the gland out of my head."
"Oh, right,
that too," said Snarky British Chick.
And then, Snarky
British Chick, Darien, and Hobbes jumped through the Cordhole.
The Official, Eberts, and Monroe were unable to go because they
were nailed to their chairs and also because Dakki just couldn't
contend with eleven fictitious characters yelling at her about
continuities in the fic.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Number
Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine, Number
Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine..." said the radio.
"You're
right. That is the most stupid thing I've ever heard." Aeryn
said, beginning to think that Crichton was actually quite bright
compared to a lot of humans.
John and Aeryn
were sitting in a taxi cab on their way to the metropolitan museum
of art, where they were going to spend the night, seeing as the
majority of New York hotels didn't accept food cubes. Dakki and
Lilo were sitting on the roof of the cab trying to hack into
the White House computer system on Dakki's laptop, only it proved
to be quite challenging because Dakki had forgotten to install
AOL.
"Then
HOW THE HEZMANA did they pay for the frelling cab?" Al Roker
demanded.
"What??
Where did that come from??" Dakki said, confused.
"Oh, that's
Al Roker. He won't give me three wishes." Said Lilo.
"Oh."
Said Dakki.
"He's
the good fairy of weather, you see," Lilo said dismissively.
Dakki was about
to ask Lilo what she had been smoking, but just then Darien fell
through the roof of the cab and into Aeryn's lap.
"Hello..."
Aeryn said, surprised at this sudden plot development. She briefly
considered shooting him, but decided against it because he was
perfect in every way.
"Hi! I'm
Darien," He said, extending his hand to her and making no
move to vacate her lap.
But before Aeryn could answer the cab pulled up in front of the
Met, which was good because Aeryn couldn't have answered anyway
as she was transfixed by his perfect biceps, and Lilo was about
to lungeat Darien.
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