I've Told You
Time And Time Again Not To Drink Anything With Caffeine After
Four O'Clock In The Afternoon, But Did You Listen To Me? Noo(9)
quickly move from the realm of sillyfic to the equally bizarre
but scarier realm of badfic, I have but two words to say: I'm
sorry. Jeff Foxworthy warning to meridianophobes (people who
are afraid of southerners).
the freakazoid Farscape version of 'Rosebud'?" Jaimie asked.
something like that," admitted Corde. "Holy frelling
son of a bacchae."
Tinka said warningly, "you're mixing genres again."
"I know. But I have to do something to make this fic interesting.
I think I'm running out of ideas."
said Aeryn. Tinka closed her eyes and put her hands over her
ears. "You just aren't inspired."
I was before? Even Ekiri said they were getting worse."
just said the last one wasn't as hilarious as the others. Get
a grip, Corde, you'll get an idea. You always do." Aeryn
was attempting to be reassuring.
It didn't work.
"But what if I don't?" Corde wailed. "What if
I only had a certain amount of silliness in my entire life, and
I used it all in those seven fics?"
folder has seven," argued Corde.
but that last one wasn't very good."
is this one," said Jaimie.
said Corde, realizing something. "Aren't you and Tinka at
a Kid Rock concert?"
said Jaimie. "In this story we're just products of your
twisted psyche." Tinka nodded her agreement.
said Corde. "Well, now that we've established that"
you write what you wrote in GED class today?" asked Aeryn.
"It will fill space if nothing else."
is all about filling space, huh? All I do is mumble for three
pages and call it a fic?" Corde was beginning to get angry.
Mostly at herself, since she couldn't think of anything to write
worked before," said Aeryn. "Look, just call it chapter
4 and get on with it."
on with it' she says. Huh. Maybe she'd like to be the author
sometimes"Corde grumbled as she got her notebook.
sin Q = 1/csc
cos Q = 1/sec
tan Q = 1/cot
the frell are you doing?" Aeryn yelled.
wrong page. These are the trig notes I took okay, here's the
stuff I wrote."
said Aeryn, "what are you doing? You're supposed to be reviewing
trig. You are going to have to take math in college. And they
won't be learning about absolute values either. Unlike this class"
said Corde. "I'm warming up for the writing section of the
pre-GED. I left the math for last, so I'm doing writing today."
up? What a lame excuse," said Aeryn. "You're just trying
to get out of trig."
said Corde. "This creativity stuff doesn't come in the mail,
y'know. I have to exercise my creative muscles constantly."
isn't a creative thing," Aeryn argued. "It's an essay
thing. 'Which one of the 19th century American presidents are
you most like, and why' and suchlike. You could do that in your
useta'could," Corde corrected. "But I haven't written
a five paragraph paper since last May. I've nearly forgotten
how. If I want this little thing to be good, it will have to
be entertaining. Besides," she added sheepishly," my
graphing calculator is broken."
are dead, stupid," Aeryn scoffed.
that now," Corde snapped. She looked up at what the class
was doing. "Ava help me, they're learning FRACTIONS!"
to get snooty about fractions, Miss I-can't-do-trig-without-my-calculator."
Aeryn admonished. "You're learning vectors; they're learning
fractions. It's all math. Now can it and do your trig."
did you do on your writing test?" asked Jaimie.
know. She didn't have time to grade it before I left," said
she keep doing that?" Jaimie wondered, staring at the blue
said they liked it, so Corde thinks if she does it every time,
at least one person will like her fic," explained Crichton,
who had just walked into the room wearing nothing but boxer shorts.
A faint, muffled
cry was heard, of many female voices. "Thank you!"
Corde yelled back.
Crichton upside the head. "Put some clothes on."
motionless for a few moments, and then walked away again.
wouldn't do that on Seinfeld," said Jaimie.
they probably would," said Chia Pet.
right, they would," said Jaimie.
said Chia Pet. "Where'd everybody go?"
her ears. She didn't hear anything. She opened her eyes. Nothing.
"Uh, hey, Jaimie? Corde? Where did everybody go?"