of a Total Wuss Who Talks to Fictional Characters Because She
is Still Afraid to Turn the Lights Out(6)
by Jaimie and Tinka
I really couldn't tell you where this came from. It's Bongo's
fault. He's one sick little monkey, so he forces me to write
weird stuff. I don't think this can even be called sillyfic,
I think it's badfic. Baaaaaaaadfic. Bad muse. I need a new one.
Okay, so I wrote it, and I'm posting it, but you don't have to
read it, and I take no responsibility for anyone who is not amused
a minute," said Crichton, "we're in space. Where would
we get tumbleweed?"
said Corde, "I was just trying to illustrate how quiet my
muse is tonight."
Bongo? Where is the little bugger anyway?" asked Aeryn.
I saw him wandering off with Chia Pet," Zhaan put in.
CALL me that!" Chiana's voice came from somewhere else.
a minute to think about the combination of Bongo and Chiana,
drat, what am I going to write about tonight?" complained
is it with you and writing all of a sudden?" asked Aeryn.
"We were perfectly fine, then you had to come along and
be all weird."
I still can't sleep. That scary movie I had to leave all the
lights on in my room last night," admitted Corde.
muttered Aeryn disgustedly.
she meant p" Crichton started helpfully.
before he could do serious damage to the PG rating of the fic.
"Look, a living ship!" she shouted, pointing at the
wall. While everyone turned to look, she reached over and pinched
a tiny bit of skin on Crichton's arm. Hard.
Crichton screamed, sounding rather like a girl.
Aeryn snapped. "Go mop the cargo bay. With your washcloth.
And I want to be able to see my face in the floor!"
Aeryn," said John, and he slunk away.
we were discussing your writing" Aeryn began. "Do you
really expect us to believe that you are THAT much of a wuss?"
we don't," said Zhaan. "No one is THAT wussy."
Corde insisted. "Ask my friends, they'll tell you."
Tinka walked into the room. Tinka screamed and started hitting
Corde. "NO! This is a Farscape fic! I can't believe you
put me in a Farscape fic!"
a Xenite," Corde explained, trying to duck. "She doesn't
approve of my other obsessions.
around in awe. "What is this, Star Wars or something? 'Luuuke,
I am your faaaaather!'" She looked at Zhaan. "Wow.
You're, um, very blue." D'Argo choked on a laugh. Zhaan
couldn't decidewho to glare at, so she settled on Corde.
Jaimie. Don't worry about it. Now I need you two to focus for
a minute. These guys are going to ask you some questions, and
you need to answer truthfully. Can you do that?" she asked
I'm not the one who told my parents I was going to a movie and
went to that frat party" retorted Jaimie.
"I'm not either. That was Andrea."
Jaimie shrugged. "Sure, okay. Ask away, weirdos." D'Argo
tried to decide if he wanted to take offense at that, but determined
it wasn't worth it.
charge. "So, Jaimie, is it? How long have you known Corde?"
this a trick question?" Corde glared at her. "Okay,
okay. Um, I've known her for about eight years, but I didn't
actually talk to her until a few years ago. We have just become
really good friends these past few months," said Jaimie.
opinion, would you say she is a wuss?" asked D'Argo.
said Jaimie, "big time. We took her to see this movie last
chorused Aeryn, D'Argo and Zhaan.
to Tinka, who was lying on the floor with her eyes shut and her
hands over her ears. "Do we want to try this one?"
he asked, nudging her with his booted toe.
said Corde, eyeing his foot warily, "go easy on my friends.
I don't have that many."
over to Tinka and smacked her on the back. "Hey goober.
Let's get going. I have to pick up Steve in fifteen minutes."
Tinka got up from the floor, still with her eyes closed and hands
over her ears, and the two girls walked out.
to Aeryn. "There, you see? Even my friends say I'm a wuss.
You want me to get my brother in here, or would you rather not
see me bleed?"
to nod, but Zhaan punched him in the arm. "No bleeding,
please. Crichton's not done mopping the cargo bay."
"Well, I guess you really are a wuss, Corde. Sorry I doubted
"'Sokay. I'm used to it."
went through a page and a half to determine that Corde is a wuss?
That was pointless," Pilot remarked.
who asked you?" retorted Corde. "Yes, of course it
was pointless. But it gave me something to write about. Which
kept me from going to bed. Which is what I was trying to do.
So it wasn't completelypointless."
her eyes. "This fic sucks."
said Aeryn. "No chapter 2."
and Corde were in Jaimie's car, driving home from dropping off
Steve. Corde was in the back.
you think I should go out with him?" asked Jaimie.
with who?" asked Corde.
said Tinka. "He's so nice."
nice?" asked Corde.
and really cute," giggled Jaimie.
cute?" asked Corde.
hear something?" Tinka asked Jaimie.
said Jaimie, and she turned up the radio.