|
A Late Night
Conversation with a Fictional Character, When the Author is Afraid
to Turn Out the Lights(5)
The first
two chapters could have been parts of longer stories, but my
muse gave me those thoughts and left. So instead of keeping them
to incorporate into later work (that would be the smart thing
to do, but who ever said I was smart?) I glommed them together
now and chatted with Aeryn for a bit. I did see "The Sixth
Sense" tonight, against my will, and I left halfway through
because I was so scared. People, if you know you don't want to
see a movie, don't waste your money on it. I need to get better
friends.
Chapter 1
Aeryn Sun stomped
into Crichton's quarters aboard Moya. "And another thing,"
she yelled, although there had been no first, second, or other
thing, "you Humans are weak! Weak, weak, weak! You THINK
about everything, analyze it, have FEELINGS about it. Why can't
you just do what you want to do without THINKING?"
"What
the FRELL are you talking about, Aeryn?" Crichton shouted
back. "I am so SICK and TIRED of you coming in here and
telling me yet another reason I am inferior! Why can't you just
accept that Humans and Sebaceans are different and LEAVE IT AT
THAT?"
"BECAUSE
YOU"
Corde wandered
in, cutting Aeryn off in mid-sentence. "Hey guys,"
she said, a bit too casually. "Say, Crichton, you wouldn't
happen to have a letter opener or nail file around here, would
you?" Crichton shook his head as Aeryn glared at the interruption.
"Nope,
sorry," replied Crichton, as Corde's expression grew disappointed.
"Would
my small dagger be suitable?" Aeryn asked icily.
Corde brightened.
"Perfect! Thanks," she said, reaching for the sharp
object and beginning to wander out again. "I'll bring it
back in a jiffy"
Aeryn and Crichton
shared a wry look, then Aeryn sighed and asked, "What do
you need it for?" as though she didn't really want to know.
"Chiana
just stapled Rygel to my wall," Corde responded nonchalantly,
"by his earbrows. I gotta get him off before my parents
get home. You two crazy kids have fun. And Crichton, if you find
any of my Scotch tape lying around, don't let Chia Pet have it,
okay?"
Chapter 2
It was a quiet
day in the basement of the FBI office. Special Agents Mulder
and Scully were filling out the endless paperwork often required
by their superiors. Well, Scully was filling it out; Mulder was
flipping pencils at the ceiling. The phone rang.
Mulder snatched
it up and snapped, "Mulder." Scully rolled her eyes
without looking up from her work. Mulder was silent, listening
to the voice on the other end for a long time, his eyes getting
wider every second. Slowly, he covered the receiver with his
hand. "Scully," he said hoarsely, "you're not
gonna believe this. I've got a guy here name's John Crichton"
Chapter 3
"Hey,
congratulations, Corde," remarked Aeryn. "That's the
first time you've had a Chapter 2 that actually made sense. And
we got all the way to chapter three this time!"
"Shut
up," growled Corde, sounding not unlike D'Argo in "The
Flax."
"Oh, so
now I get a line, is that it? I must say, Corde, I am not entirely
pleased with my roles in your previous fic," grumbled D'Argo.
"Oh pipe
down," said Chia Pet. "Hey! I told you not to call
me that!"
"All of
you, be quiet!" shouted Corde, who had just seen "The
Sixth Sense" and was still scared of the dark.
"Wuss,"
muttered Aeryn.
"Yes,
and I'll thank you not to forget it," snapped Corde. "I
TOLD my friends I didn't want to see it, but did they listen?
Noo"
"Some
friends you got there," observed Aeryn.
"Yeah,
with friends like that, who needs Peacekeepers?" asked Zhaan,
who was determined to have a line in this fic as well.
"Wait
a minute, Corde. All wussiness aside, you can't let your wimpy
fears get in the way of characterization. Zhaan would never say
a thing like that," Aeryn lectured.
Corde sighed.
"Yeah, I know, but I didn't want Crichton to think he could
say things like that, and I really don't feel like cleaning up
the blood when you beat the dren out of him."
Aeryn considered
that. "You have a point. Still, Chia Pet or Rygel could
have said it, and it would have been in character."
Corde scowled.
"I don't like them. I don't want them in my fic."
"Don't
pout," Aeryn admonished. "You look like a child."
"I AM
a child! And I don't like scary movies," Corde said sulkily.
Chapter 4
BOO!
Chapter 5
"That
wasn't nice, Crichton. Now you're just mocking me," Corde
glowered at him.
Aeryn smacked
Crichton upside the head. "Go clean the Prowler. With your
washcloth. And I wanna be able to see my face in it, got me?"
she ordered.
Crichton whimpered.
"Yes, Aeryn," he said obsequiously, and trotted off.
Aeryn turned back to Corde, who was still pouting over the scary
movie she saw.
"Now Corde,"
she said as though she were speaking to a young child, "There
are no such things as ghosts. And even if there were, you couldn't
see them. And if you could, they couldn't touch you."
"Are you
sure? Because in the movie they touched the little boy. They
gave him scratches"
"I'm sure.
Because I wouldn't let them. Now turn the computer off and go
to sleep."
"Thanks,
Aeryn. But I have to finish this first."
"Then
finish it."
"Okay."
THE END
Chapter 6
"I thought
you finished it," Aeryn reminded Corde.
"I did.
But I don't wanna go to bed. I'm still scared. Let's talk about
something. Is this what they call a "Mary Sue" story?"
Aeryn muttered
unintelligible curses under her breath. "Let me put it this
way, do you really care?"
"No."
"Good.
Then go to bed."
THE END
<prev
next>
|
