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© Copyright Dylan Pemberton 2002.



A Late Night Conversation with a Fictional Character, When the Author is Afraid to Turn Out the Lights(5)


The first two chapters could have been parts of longer stories, but my muse gave me those thoughts and left. So instead of keeping them to incorporate into later work (that would be the smart thing to do, but who ever said I was smart?) I glommed them together now and chatted with Aeryn for a bit. I did see "The Sixth Sense" tonight, against my will, and I left halfway through because I was so scared. People, if you know you don't want to see a movie, don't waste your money on it. I need to get better friends.


Chapter 1


Aeryn Sun stomped into Crichton's quarters aboard Moya. "And another thing," she yelled, although there had been no first, second, or other thing, "you Humans are weak! Weak, weak, weak! You THINK about everything, analyze it, have FEELINGS about it. Why can't you just do what you want to do without THINKING?"


"What the FRELL are you talking about, Aeryn?" Crichton shouted back. "I am so SICK and TIRED of you coming in here and telling me yet another reason I am inferior! Why can't you just accept that Humans and Sebaceans are different and LEAVE IT AT THAT?"




Corde wandered in, cutting Aeryn off in mid-sentence. "Hey guys," she said, a bit too casually. "Say, Crichton, you wouldn't happen to have a letter opener or nail file around here, would you?" Crichton shook his head as Aeryn glared at the interruption.


"Nope, sorry," replied Crichton, as Corde's expression grew disappointed.


"Would my small dagger be suitable?" Aeryn asked icily.


Corde brightened. "Perfect! Thanks," she said, reaching for the sharp object and beginning to wander out again. "I'll bring it back in a jiffy"


Aeryn and Crichton shared a wry look, then Aeryn sighed and asked, "What do you need it for?" as though she didn't really want to know.


"Chiana just stapled Rygel to my wall," Corde responded nonchalantly, "by his earbrows. I gotta get him off before my parents get home. You two crazy kids have fun. And Crichton, if you find any of my Scotch tape lying around, don't let Chia Pet have it, okay?"


Chapter 2


It was a quiet day in the basement of the FBI office. Special Agents Mulder and Scully were filling out the endless paperwork often required by their superiors. Well, Scully was filling it out; Mulder was flipping pencils at the ceiling. The phone rang.


Mulder snatched it up and snapped, "Mulder." Scully rolled her eyes without looking up from her work. Mulder was silent, listening to the voice on the other end for a long time, his eyes getting wider every second. Slowly, he covered the receiver with his hand. "Scully," he said hoarsely, "you're not gonna believe this. I've got a guy here name's John Crichton"


Chapter 3


"Hey, congratulations, Corde," remarked Aeryn. "That's the first time you've had a Chapter 2 that actually made sense. And we got all the way to chapter three this time!"


"Shut up," growled Corde, sounding not unlike D'Argo in "The Flax."


"Oh, so now I get a line, is that it? I must say, Corde, I am not entirely pleased with my roles in your previous fic," grumbled D'Argo.


"Oh pipe down," said Chia Pet. "Hey! I told you not to call me that!"


"All of you, be quiet!" shouted Corde, who had just seen "The Sixth Sense" and was still scared of the dark.


"Wuss," muttered Aeryn.


"Yes, and I'll thank you not to forget it," snapped Corde. "I TOLD my friends I didn't want to see it, but did they listen? Noo"


"Some friends you got there," observed Aeryn.


"Yeah, with friends like that, who needs Peacekeepers?" asked Zhaan, who was determined to have a line in this fic as well.


"Wait a minute, Corde. All wussiness aside, you can't let your wimpy fears get in the way of characterization. Zhaan would never say a thing like that," Aeryn lectured.


Corde sighed. "Yeah, I know, but I didn't want Crichton to think he could say things like that, and I really don't feel like cleaning up the blood when you beat the dren out of him."


Aeryn considered that. "You have a point. Still, Chia Pet or Rygel could have said it, and it would have been in character."


Corde scowled. "I don't like them. I don't want them in my fic."


"Don't pout," Aeryn admonished. "You look like a child."


"I AM a child! And I don't like scary movies," Corde said sulkily.


Chapter 4




Chapter 5


"That wasn't nice, Crichton. Now you're just mocking me," Corde glowered at him.


Aeryn smacked Crichton upside the head. "Go clean the Prowler. With your washcloth. And I wanna be able to see my face in it, got me?" she ordered.


Crichton whimpered. "Yes, Aeryn," he said obsequiously, and trotted off. Aeryn turned back to Corde, who was still pouting over the scary movie she saw.


"Now Corde," she said as though she were speaking to a young child, "There are no such things as ghosts. And even if there were, you couldn't see them. And if you could, they couldn't touch you."


"Are you sure? Because in the movie they touched the little boy. They gave him scratches"


"I'm sure. Because I wouldn't let them. Now turn the computer off and go to sleep."


"Thanks, Aeryn. But I have to finish this first."


"Then finish it."






Chapter 6


"I thought you finished it," Aeryn reminded Corde.


"I did. But I don't wanna go to bed. I'm still scared. Let's talk about something. Is this what they call a "Mary Sue" story?"


Aeryn muttered unintelligible curses under her breath. "Let me put it this way, do you really care?"




"Good. Then go to bed."



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