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Ha Ha! I Actually Have Chapter Titles For The First Time! Aren't You Proud Of Me? Oh Well, It's A Good Thing I Have Chapter Titles, Because This Story Title Sucks. I Better Finish Up Now, Because It's 2:00 AM And I'm On A Train And The Other Passengers Aren't Happy That I Have The Light On(17)


Last weekend I visited a friend of mine in Kenosha, Wisconsin. She invited me to her school's formal dance, and I went and had a wonderful time. Anthony was glad I left, because he said I'd have a lot of time on the train to write fic. By hand. In pencil. Ugh. But I did, and this is the first fic that has been written ENTIRELY by hand before being typed. Anyway, I have no excuse for this except that I've been using Bongo as a pillow on the trains and he is Not Happy. When a muse is Not Happy, we get freakish fic.


Chapter 1: Indy to Chicago


Corde burst out laughing. She swiftly muffled her snickers until a glare from Aeryn renewed her mirth. "Aeryn, sweetie, are you okay?" She tried to ask without giggling and failed miserably.


"No," Aeryn replied shortly as she put her head back between her knees.


Corde bit her lip. "The way you pilot your Prowler, I'd have never thought you to get carsick. Train sick."


Aeryn tried to glare again, but it came out as a rather pitiful attempt. "My Prowler does not JERK as this train does. Neither is there a loudly snoring octogenarian," she moaned.


Corde examined the sleeping lady in question. "I don't think she's that old," she mused. "Probably only a septuagenarian."


"Then there's Mr. Coughy over there," Aeryn continued enumerating her woes.


Crichton's head popped up from several rows in front of them. "Coffee?" he asked brightly.


"No, you insufferable dolt," Aeryn said with utter distain. "Not COFFEE. Coughy. He's coughing."


Crichton shrugged. "They sound the same."


Aeryn looked at him incredulously. "This is TEXT! They're spelled completely differently!"


Crichton said, "Whatever," and went back to his coloring books. Aeryn moaned and put her head back between her knees. Corde rolled her eyes.


D'Argo wandered by. "How'd you get here?" Corde asked, surprised.


The luxan drew himself up with dignity. "I'm going to visit the aquarium in Chicago," he said gruffly. "You're on a train, it's a free ride, and I wanna see the pretty fishies."


Corde considered for a moment, then shrugged and said, "Sure. Cool. I'll pick you up on the way back." D'Argo grunted assent and resumed making his way unsteadily to the snack machines.


Aeryn groaned with renewed vigor. "Corde, why are you so chipper? I thought you got motion sick too."


"Like a fiend," Corde confirmed cheerfully. "Wonderful stuff, Dramamine. Less drowsy formula. I could ride a horse. I could EAT a horse. And I'm bright-tailed, bushy-eyed, wide awa" the rest of the sentence trailed off in a snore. Startled, Aeryn looked up to see Corde fast asleep, clutching Bongo and drooling. Aeryn snickered, her own nausea forgotten. Where had she put that camera? This would be blackmail material for MONTHS


Chapter 2: The Dance


Aeryn looked around the glittery ballroom in dismay. "THIS is why you dragged us up here to Cheeseland?"


Corde grinned, eyes shining. "Yup. Isn't it great?"


Zhaan and D'Argo waltzed by.


Aeryn sneered. "A bunch of kids hanging around in $200 outfits they'll only wear once and acting like fools. How is this fun?"


Corde looked for her date, who had gone to get her a drink. "Because it is. And isn't Mike just the greatest guy? I'm so glad Deters got him to bring me. He even slow-dances! That's so nice of him!"


"Foolish boy," Aeryn muttered. "He'd get more use out of three hours of target practice than three hours of 'dancing.'"


Corde poked her in the arm. "Shush. I'm having fun. And you haven't said how you like my dress." She pirouetted to show off the bright red formal gown.


Aeryn eyed her doubtfully. "That can't be comfortable."


"It's not s'posta be," Corde told her, breathing shallowly. "I can hold my breath for three hours. It's not a big deal."


Zhaan and D'Argo tangoed by. Corde did a double take. "Hey, I thought he was going to the aquarium"


Corde's date came back and handed her a cup. "Thanks, Mike," she said, taking a swig. "Hey, I want you to meet my friend Aeryn."


Mike raised an eyebrow. "But Corde, you don't even live around here. How did you meet her? I don't think she goes to this school." He addressed Aeryn. "Do you go to Trempor? Or Indian Trails maybe?"


Aeryn drew herself up, affronted. ("What is it with you and 'drawing up' all of a sudden?" Chia asked. "You have the oddest phrases." "You wanna write? Be my guest!" said Corde.) "Officer Aeryn Sun, Icarian Company, Pleisar Regiment."


D'Argo spun Zhaan in a graceful circle.


Mike blinked. "Whoa." He turned to Corde. "Your friends are weird." Corde grinned and nodded. "Let's dance."


"Yay!" said Corde.


They had boogied their way through "Soul Man," "I'm a Believer," "Time Warp," "Jump, Jive 'n' Wail," three measures of Britney Spears before the DJ turned it off, "Mickey," "(She's a) Brick House,"and "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" before the inevitable Ricky Martin song came on. Corde and the other girls cheered and shook it for all they were worth, but Mike stopped dancing. "I don't HAVE a bon-bon," he said plaintively. Corde giggled.


D'Argo and Zhaan did an elaborate spin-and-dip move.


There was a loud crash from the front of the room, and the music stopped just before Ricky went "around the world in a day." Everyone groaned and looked up to see Aeryn standing over the remains of a stereo, readying her pulse rifle for another shot. She looked up. " 'Genie in a Bottle' was up next," she explained.


Chapter 4: Home Again


"Will you people please SHUT UP?" Corde snapped. She was uncomfortably trying to arrange herself on the narrow train seats so she could sleep. Aeryn was once again moaning about train sickness, and D'Argo and Zhaan were sniping at each other over who had caused more bruises on the other's feet. Corde turned on the Amtrak mini-light above her seat and looked at the miserable crew. Someone was missing. "Um, was anyone watching to make sure Crichton didn't get off at that last stop? The shipperswill be very upset with me if we left him in Dyer."


Aeryn stopped moaning long enough to say, "He's on the lower level with the snack machines."


D'Argo looked toward Corde with horror. "You didn't give him any MONEY, did you? He'll drink a bunch of Pepsi and be up all night!"


"Relax, tentacle boy, he's just pushing the buttons," Zhaan told him. "But I'm going to be up all night with aching feet! Could you have stepped on my more if you'd TRIED?!"


"You're no lightweight yourself, Blue!" D'Argo snapped back. "And you just HAD to wear the spike heels"


Corde pointed out the window. "Look! Snow!" she yelled, then turned off the light and went to sleep.


Chapter 3: Oops, I Forgot Chapter 3


Chapter 5: Commentary


"I'm gonna hurl," said Aeryn, dashing to the bathroom.


"I hope that's motion sickness and not her literary opinion," said Corde.


"Both," Aeryn yelled from her kneeling position over the toilet.


"My feet hurt," growled D'Argo.


"Mine too," said Zhaan.


"Wanna push the button," grumped Crichton.


Corde rolled her eyes. "Look! Snow!"




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DISCLAIMER: (Don't sue us, we're pathetic) This is so made up. We mean absolutely no offence. We all love Farscape, and the actors and crew involved in making our favourite show. This should be seen for what it is, a tribute. If by some bizarre, and frankly disturbing coincidence Mr. Browder does indeed enjoy the company of voles, then we apologise unreservedly.

Farscape and all it's subsidiary bits are owned by some other people and not us. Anything illegal we do is purely by accident and that includes the credit card scam and Bob's marijuana farm.