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N: Steve the Crock Hunter jumps out of a transport pod into the docking bay.

Steve: Have a look at this! Unbelievable! Very exiting, we've just entered, a leviathan! She's a really big Sheila, about four or five metras across, biomechanoid. Just a tremendously huge girl flying across these galaxies with a Pilot coexisting inside her here somewhere ... let's go have a look!

N: Steve runs through Moya into Pilot's den. He approaches cautiously and then jumps on top of Pilot's console.

Steve: Just have a look at this beauty! Not very aggressive, and as you can see (pry's Pilots mouth open) he's got the most unusual set of teeth in here ... but he doesn't eat! That's right, Pilot's are completely reliant on their Leviathan for all their nutrition.

N: Pilot struggles his head away and blinks.

Pilot: I beg your pardon!

Steve: (grabbing a pincher) This Pilot here has four working appendages as you can see, he uses them to press on all these controls and things - so his precious leviathan girl can maneuva!

Pilot: (growls) Would you kindly let go of my arm?

Steve: What a beaut! Leviathan's sure have it lucky with Pilot's like this one around. You can see here! (jumps over Pilot) He's completely attached to this Leviathan. No legs, basically he can only just swivel around here for his entire life time! Croicky! And they're completely unaggressive, the only defensive maneuva they have is to starburst. Pilot initiates the Sheila into a starbursting mode and shwoosh! Straight out into space!

Pilot: (snarls at Steve as he jumps up on his console again and whacks him off with his pincher) Do try to contain yourself! I do not appreciate ..."

Steve: Whoa what a whack! Apparently there is some small aggression within the Pilot's but it's just a natural response to someone invading his environment. He's just telling me "get out of my territory!" You're alright mate, you're alright!

Pilot: Of course I'm alright! But I'm afraid I will have to insist you leave so that I can continue without your (narrows eyes) bizarre distraction.

Steve: (Leaving) Leviathan's also carry alien passengers across the galaxies within their completely inhabitable ecosystem. Let's have a look!

N: Steve comes across Rygel and jumps in front of him.

Rygel: Aaaaaaahh!!! What the yotz!

Steve: It's a Hynerian! What a beauty! I'll just try to catch him 'ere so you can see ...

Rygel: Aaaaaah you frelling maniac! (tries to fly away on his hover throne as Steve tackles him and uses a stick to open his mouth)

Steve: Just look at those choppas! You can see how his mouth cavity runs waaay down here! That way the Hynerian can hold just as much as he wants in his mouth for his three stomachs! (Rygel waggles his arms in Steve's hold, still screaming) He has several different defenses, you gotta watch out for this naughty li'l devil. He'll vomit! And if you get them really nervous (Rygel flatulates) whoooo! Croiky, they'll fart helium too, not a pretty sight!

N: Steve lets Rygel go as Chiana enters the corridor.

Steve: You're alright there mate!

Chi: Who the frell is that?

Rygel: Get him the frell away from me he's completely farhbot!

N: Steve runs to Chiana, sprawling into a crouch in front of her. She tilts her head, sprawling into a crouch in turn.

Chiana: Look ah, who ever the frell you are ...

Steve: Just our luck! This pretty little Sheila is a Nebari! (tackles Chiana) Just get a load of this beauty! Gorgeous! Pale skin, perfect shaded markings, notoriously these Nebari aren't very aggressive ...

N: Chiana bites Steve's arm and turns to spit the chunk out then as an after thought she starts to chew on it.

Steve: Croicky! I've just been bitten! Oh this is a naughty one, far more aggressive than I expected!

N: Chiana head butts him with the back of her head and whirls around to kick him in the crotch.

Chi: Yaaa!!

Steve: (jumping back just in time) And she nearly got me that time! This ones definitely a real naughty Sheila, you can see how she defends her territory, whammo!

N: Chi lands him with a right hook and sends him sailing to the floor. She smirks as she stands in a stance over him.

Chi: Boy are you taint.

Steve: Whoa really exiting stuff here! (sits up and beams a smile into the camera as Chiana puts him into a head lock) I've got to be really careful, so as not to disturb the delicate balance of the Leviathan's ecosystem. I just love these Nebari, really I could just squeeze her cheeks! But this one's obviously so agro! I've invaded her territory, and she's letting me know, "get outa her space!"

Chiana: (eyes Rygel) Is he serious?

Rygel: Let's capture the frelling thing and give him to the old woman. (smiles)

DISCLAIMER: (Don't sue us, we're pathetic) This is so made up. We mean absolutely no offence. We all love Farscape, and the actors and crew involved in making our favourite show. This should be seen for what it is, a tribute. If by some bizarre, and frankly disturbing coincidence Mr. Browder does indeed enjoy the company of voles, then we apologise unreservedly.

Farscape and all it's subsidiary bits are owned by some other people and not us. Anything illegal we do is purely by accident and that includes the credit card scam and Bob's marijuana farm.